This is pretty awesome! I love the anime style, and the plot is pretty hilarious. The only criticism I have is the volume of the voices seemed really imbalanced. In particular, Nephtys's voice was waaay louder than the others, and certain lines seemed jarringly loud. A bit rough if you're wearing headphones, but other than that nice work!
If you go on to make anything else, I'd recommend adding in a preloader. For me, the video would freeze after a few seconds because it wasn't loaded enough and wouldn't restart playing unless I refreshed the page; then it would restart from the beginning, go a few more seconds, and freeze again. I like the idea though!
I've looked into a few tutorials and a preloader looks like something I could pull off! Thanks for the feedback! :D
I'm a little surprised Wendy's didn't save them. That was a nice touch with "the clown" though lol
Interesting plot line, albeit a little random. I'll give you a little advice on how to improve:
- In the beginning scene, where the main character is walking, I see you just animated the legs and arms and had the body move in a straight line. If you watch any cartoon or real person, their bodies move up and down as they're walking.
- With sites like freesound.org or even YouTube, there's no reason why you can't find some decent sound effects. Don't try to make them with your mouth; it really takes away from the video and makes people rate it lower.
- If you intend on taking this story further, I'd recommend actually coming up with a plot ahead of time rather than just improvising it on the spot. Storyboard it out, and then you can foreshadow future plot elements and make the whole thing flow better. Give your characters a bit of background that you can draw on for future episodes or to determine how they'll act in certain situations. I'd recommend watching https://youtu.be/FoH82EuXfjg for advice on how to do that.
- Also, try to avoid falling into that stereotypical anime "escalation" trap where the main character always has to save the world. That's discussed really well in this video https://youtu.be/kLIbI1FI6N4 if you have time to sit through it. Try to avoid just recycling plot elements from other cartoons and anime.
- Other than that, you just need to work on adding more detail to the backgrounds and improving your drawings. A lot of that comes with time and practice; nobody starts out perfect. If you keep working at it, you'll improve eventually. Good luck, and most importantly, have fun!
Hey I really appreciate all of the advice! I am still learning as I go along but thanks for pointing out that he doesn't walk like a normal person. I actually had initially started off with having sounds from the internet but after talking with a friend we both agreed that it would be funnier if I made my own sounds. Although I do completely see your perspective that it, in a way, lowers the quality of the animation. Also, as I am sure you could tell, I made this entire animation up as I went along. It started off with me just learning the basics of getting a character to walk using Adobe Animate and I wanted to just keeping going with it. My newest animation that I am working on does have much more of a plot that I have written out with a script whereas with this one I improvised some of the audio. Thank you so much for all of the pointers I really appreciate all the advice I can get!
I'm glad you used my suggestions and I think it looks a lot more polished than the first one. I can't wait to see where you go with this! :)
Thanks for the suggestions. Im a bit limated to what I can do with the program I have so thats why I stick to a vary 1D plane but I thought what the heck, ill make 160 views of the characters. Mind you they would be smooth transitioning turns but with the magic of editing im sure I can hide that. =)
Interesting start but I think it needs a bit more work. I liked the music and I thought some of the scenes fit well, but some parts didn't quite match up and there were some awkward pauses used to try and get it to match up, especially during the end scene where PIC holds out his hand for a super long time before RC decides to grab it. Maybe you could cut to like a shot of PIC and then RC blushing or something? I'd also like to see them in a few different poses - they were more or less just facing left or right except at the end where you see RC's back, so it felt a bit stiff. And for walking animations, characters tend to bounce up and down slightly while they're walking or running, they don't just glide along smoothly with only their arms or feet moving, so you might want to work on that a bit.
Anyways, it's your animation so you can do whatever you want, but make sure you're happy with it if you're doing an intro because it's going to be in every single one of your RC and PIC cartoons. (Btw is it RC and PIB or PIC? In your other cartoon you wrote PIB but in this one you wrote PIC). And just a side note on intros, sometimes they work best at the end, especially if the animation is short and the intro is long. Well whatever you do, it looks like it has promise, so I hope you have fun with it. I kind of feel invested in seeing them go to space now XD.
Its Pib. I messed up on the tittle lol and you make really good and helpful points =) Thank you.
I love your animation style and I think the story was short but sweet. That being said, I would have given 4 stars if there had been some sort of audio, even if it was just background music, or even just sound effects like the teacher tapping her foot, the girl writing, etc. You can find some good sound effects on freesound.org if you're in need of them. Also I thought the plot was a bit confusing - I understood that the teacher says no to something and so the girl writes or draws something in revenge and the teacher is so exasperated she gives up, but it was unclear what exactly the teacher said no to and what exactly the girl was doing. If the plot had been a bit clearer and you'd added sound, I would have given this 5 stars for sure.
Other than that, I thought you did the animation, background, character design, and especially the facial expressions really well. Of course you can always improve with practice but this was really good - definitely a lot better than a lot of the other things I've seen people put up here over the years. Since it was your final project for school I'm sure you were a bit rushed trying to make it, but I hope you keep animating and at the very least for whatever project you do next, think: "What's the one thing I think I could improve on from last project?" and try to do that, even if it's something as simple as "add any kind of sound to my next video". I learned that tip actually for drawing but I think it can apply to anything; in art class I was told to take just one thing I was unhappy with in a drawing I made and try to make it better in my next drawing.
In summary, this is good -- but could be better -- and I like where you're going so keep it up!
Yep, that about sums up driving! I think you'd have something pretty awesome here if you put a bit more effort into the animation used to complement your epic British accent :D
My personal best driving story is when I stopped for a red light, but the idiot in the left lane blew past me and hit a guy who was making a left turn. He barely clipped the turning car's front end, but he was going so fast that his car rolled about six times before ending up in a ditch on the other side of the intersection. To make the situation even better, some people who had witnessed the accident abandoned their cars, doors open with keys still in them, to go run over and see if the guy was okay, causing other people to try to drive around their cars by using the oncoming traffic lanes. The guy who had gotten hit making the turn panicked and stopped on the far side of the intersection; didn't bother to pull off the road or get out of his car and see if the guy was okay but rather just sat there blocking traffic.
Fucking....hell thats a story and thank you for watching and enjoying it ive got more over on my youtube channel aswell. Yeah I'm definitely looking into away of smoothing out my pictures at the moment
Overall this wasn't bad, but it was a bit too short and lacking. So the enemy destroyed the player's first wave of monsters, but then what happens? The battle isn't won until someone's castle is destroyed, so there wasn't really a clear ending. You could always go with a sort of "Yugioh Abridged Comedy" route where the players use cards that clearly don't exist until someone wins or quits.
Other than that, the animation and character design was pretty decent. The sound effects were okay but some seemed to be slightly mistimed, and others were abnormally louder or quieter, though not enough that it took away from the movie too much. This isn't a bad start, but you can definitely do better and I look forward to seeing you improve in the future.
Thank you so much for your review I'll keep all of that in mind. I'm still a beginner when it comes to animation and sound eff, and learning little by little by myself. So reading reviews like yours really helps me out thank you.
Original storyline, smooth animation, and humorous dialogue - I can't wait for part 2!
Thank you so much!
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